The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
