marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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