Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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