i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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