we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
