question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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