On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
