pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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