thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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