youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
