If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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