it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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