69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize