How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
