help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
