rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize