I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
