I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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