Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
