wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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