Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
