She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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