So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
