She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
