what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
