Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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