his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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