So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Found your dick twin last night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize