I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
