I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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