No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
the day after is always just damage control
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
