I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Boobs speak an international language.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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