Already got asked if we're dating
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
