I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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