I got her a Nickelback box set.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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