Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Buhtt sex?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
