I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
