So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
