just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
