eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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