Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
