I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You pole danced in your parka.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
