Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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