you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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