It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
