Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
