It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
another moral hangover. fuck.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize