I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
