I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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