i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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