She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
