he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
