it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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