I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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