she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
