No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
