no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
