also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
