I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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