Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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