It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
