Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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