dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
