I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
