the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize