He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
