what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
